The Great Comma Shortage at Benedict’s Supply
In a world where office supplies reign supreme, one company stands as a beacon of both organization and chaos: Benedict’s Supply. What began as a typical Monday morning quickly descended into grammatical anarchy when the unthinkable happened – they ran out of commas.
Punctuation Pandemonium
“We never thought it would come to this” explained Janet from Accounting while furiously drawing tiny curved marks on documents with a pencil. “First the paper clips mysteriously vanished then the staplers went missing and now this No one can properly separate clauses anymore!”
The office memo board, once a paragon of well-structured communication, now resembles the stream-of-consciousness ramblings of a caffeine-addicted novelist on deadline.
The Office Plant Rebellion
Meanwhile, in an apparently unrelated incident, the office ficus trees have begun an inexplicable migration toward the supply closet. Security footage reveals the plants inching closer each night, their leafy appendages reaching ominously toward the door.
Theories abound:
- The plants are staging a coup to control the supply chain
- They’re searching for the missing commas
- Someone accidentally watered them with energy drinks again
Emergency Measures Deployed
Benedict’s Supply CEO has implemented drastic solutions, including:
- A temporary semicolon exchange program (three semicolons can be traded for one comma)
- Mandatory training on “How to Speak Without Pausing”
- Installation of plant barriers around all supply areas
Supply Chain Experts Weigh In
“This is precisely why diversification of punctuation inventory is critical,” explains Dr. Penelope Marks, author of “When Supplies Attack: Surviving Office Shortages.” “No business should put all their commas in one basket.”
Benedict’s Supply expects a fresh shipment of commas to arrive by Wednesday, though there are concerns about potential interception by the increasingly aggressive plant life.
In the meantime, employees have been advised to use hand gestures during verbal communication to indicate where pauses should occur, leading to what witnesses describe as “the world’s most confusing game of charades.”
As one employee noted on the company suggestion board: “Send help exclamation point”